


Call Me

by runrarebit



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Eldritch Abominations, M/M, ignore me, past non (or at least) dubcon mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runrarebit/pseuds/runrarebit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Utterly unnecessary 2 part minifill for this http://nightvalecommunitykink.dreamwidth.org/822.html?thread=759094#cmt759094 challenge on  Night Vale Community Kink Meme. </p><p>Two voicemail messages, one by Steve Carlsberg to Cecil and one by Cecil to Steve Carlsberg discussing their brood of eldritch abominations and appropriate parenting thereof.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(A voicemail message left for Cecil)

_  
Cecil, this is the mother of your brood- which I’m sure you can already tell. The children tell me you have been ignoring their existence again._

_We talked about this._

_Though, I suppose there’s every chance you’ve been re-educated subsequent to our last discussion about shirking parental responsibilities and have forgotten you even have children, let alone how to be a good sire to them. If this is so the relevant data packet is in your top drawer._

_Whatever the case may be it is almost (eldritch noise) day and the children tell me they want to do something with you. You are their (eldritch noise) after all, even if you rarely act like it. Or remember it._

_Anyway, please call me when you get this. (pause)_

_I also think we should talk about Carlos. Don’t you think it’s time you introduced him to your young? They’re starting to get upset. Their many, writhing, betentacled hearts aren’t even in their bi-nightly unholy, blood thinning howls. I mean, Charmaine wouldn’t even eat her live Ostrich last night._

_The neighbours have even stopped complaining. Bobby hasn't slaughtered one, used their blood to write in that strange and gelatinous book he keeps under his nest, and made me a wreath of apology intestines in weeks._

_Sorry, I’ve gotten off track._

_I like Carlos. I think he might even be good for you, but you can’t do this to him, you have to understand that you can’t just impregnate people without asking them. Anyway, he’s a scientist. He probably wouldn’t keep them if you did._

_(pause)_

_Call me._


	2. Chapter 2

(a voicemail message left for Steve Carlsberg)

_Carlsberg._

_I know you know who this is._

_Thank you for your concern, but I have not been re-educated. As far as I know._

_I was simply suffering from some localised temporal dislocation, and had briefly been replaced by a version of myself from the past -or possibly future - who had no memory of the children, or of Carlos, or even of ever living in Night Vale._

_Of course I want to spend (eldritch noise) day with the brood. I wasn’t ignoring them on purpose, in fact **I** wasn’t ignoring them at all. Anyway, if our children can’t reach me they should know by now they can leave a message on my living room wall in blood or other, unidentifiable, fluids. The Faceless Old Woman understands not to clean up any unspeakable horrors left by young attempting to communicate with their sire._

_As far as Carlos and I are concerned, I don’t think we are at that point yet-_

_And also, what have you been telling our young about the government? Madeline shrieked some very alarming things about Mandatory government probing a couple of weeks ago that I am not happy about. What kind of world do you want for your spawn? One in which a government cannot even probe its own citizens in times of crisis, extreme boredom or infestations of wheat and wheat bi-products?_

_As I was saying. Carlos and I are not at that point yet, and even if we were it really is none of your business. Any future broods I have with anyone else will not in any way impact on you or the relationship I have with our young._

_Furthermore you persist in this delusion that I did not gain your consent before impregnating you. This is not true. I asked and you said yes, if you cannot remember doing so perhaps it is **you** who have been re-educated._

_I suppose I’ll try you again later so we can discuss (eldritch noise) day._

_Also, have you considered trying Charmaine on something other than Ostrich? You and I both know she’s a picky eater._


	3. Chapter 3

(A voicemail message left for Steve Carlsberg)

_Hi, um, Steve- it’s- it’s Carlos._

_Um. Cecil’s Carlos._

_I don’t know if he rang you. He said he was going to, but that doesn’t mean he did._

_(pauses)_

_Um._

_It’s about this weekend. We talked about it and we both agreed that it might be a good idea to have your- um- I think he used the word ‘brood?’ I’m sorry if that’s wrong. I don’t mean to offend you, or, um- your children._

_Um._

_Anyway, we both think it would be a good idea to have them round to Cecil’s over the weekend so I can meet them, if it hasn’t been cancelled, and if that’s ok with you._

_(pauses)_

_Um._

_(pauses)_

_Also. Um-_

_There’s a couple of things I want to ask you. Not for scientific purposes or anything. It’s just-_

_(pauses)_

_Cecil explained things to me. Or at least he tried to, but I don’t know if I just wasn’t listening because of the-_

_(pauses)_

_-um, **surprise** , or if he’s just a really bad at explaining some things, but how, um, **it** happened wasn’t really clear. _

_(quietly) Carlos you are a grown man you can say it._

_What I mean is he wasn’t really clear on how he got you pregnant._

_(pauses)_

_Which isn’t to say he didn’t try. I did make that clear didn’t I? He did try to explain, but maybe it’s a Night Vale thing and the people here take the weirdest things for granted. Is it like with that thing at the radio station they insist on calling a cat?_

_Um. Anyway. If you could just call me back. Soonish. Please?_


	4. Chapter 4

(A voicemail message left for Carlos)

_This is Steve Carlsberg._

_I talked to Cecil about the weekend and everything’s arranged. Which you may have already discussed. Sorry. This is just a bit…_

_(pauses)_

_Awkward._

_As to how he got me pregnant…_

_Just don’t sit on his face._

_(pauses)_

_Or let him rim you in any other position. No matter how good it feels- and it will feel good. It will feel amazing, but don’t do it. Yes I know he’s good with his tongue. Yes I know it’s really, really long. Which should be creepy, but is strangely, erotically appealing in this one, specific, case._

_In fact, do not let his tongue anywhere near your ass. At all. Ever._

_If you do let his tongue near your ass and feel a strange pinching sensation before a sweet, almost narcotic drowsiness it is probably too late, but you could try getting him to dislodge before you end up bearing more than a **small** brood. _

_You could try hitting him. It **might** . work._

_(pauses)_

_I hope this was of some help._

_Um._

_Bye._

__


End file.
